Long before I met God I had a love for France and for the french language and so at age 23 I decided to take the plunge and emmigrate to France. This is just a brief sharing of my adventure!!
Up to this point I had only ever visited Paris once. As a tourist looking in on Paris one can’t be but humbled…the eiffel tower, notre dame, the louvre, arc de triomphe…….I fell in love!
What I hadn’t anticipated was how different living in Paris would be! High rents, overcrowded trains and dirty streets and staircases soon crushed all romantic ideas of living happily ever after!
But romance hadn’t died yet! Lonely one evening I went on a boat trip around the small island at the very centre of Paris! The boat was also a disco and with the Eiffel Tower lit up it couldn’t have been more cliché or romantic!
Aboard the boat a very strange thing happened, I met a very charming young french girl and this was the start of a whirlwind romance!
We exchanged numbers and (funny as I look back) for our first date we met at metro ‘Saint Michel’ and we visited the cathedral of Notre Dame together before going for a meal.
We clicked immediately and without a shadow of a doubt I can say that Laura is the most remarkable girl that I’ve ever met to this day matching head with heart, intelligence with compassion!
We must have eaten in every restaurant in Paris and Lyon and it is thanks to Laura that I speak such good french to this day! I must have asked her 1 million questions not to mention all the times I embarassed her when I forgot to say ‘vous’ instead of ‘tu’.
Laura was there when I had my first nervous breakdown. Christmas 2007 I had to return to Ireland from Paris in an emergency (little did I know 8 years later it would be Sydney).
Laura stayed in touch and although I recovered after 8 months I had lost most of my confidence. Fear now ruled my life and so I was afraid of going back to my beautiful France!
A long distance relationship ensued, Dublin – Lyon and then Dublin – France but my health was fragile. 6 months later breakdown number 2! It is hard to put into words such devastation at such a young age.
It was to be another 6 months before God saved me. My life hung in the balance. Suicide made it’s second and most ferocious bid for my life. Poor Laura could no longer take the pain, we split.
When God entered my life He asked me to go back to France, to face my fear. After 6 months in the sunny south He called me back to Paris.
I had thousands of miracles in Paris and met so many wonderful prayer groups. ‘Les semeurs d’esperance’, la communauté emmanuelle, l’eglise Saint Eugene Saint Cécile……It was also in Paris where I found myself moneyless and on the border of homelessness.
In Paris I got involved with helping the homeless, participating in prayer groups. Many mornings after being attacked by demons at night I’d race through the paris underground crying on my way to mass where God gave me the strength to go on. Often I’d go 2 and even 3 times a day. My only friend was God, I trusted nobody, not even myself and often wondered if maybe my family were correct, maybe I was psychotic or schitzophrenic.
All I could do was trust Jesus and so every night I went to sleep with this image on my knee…
How on earth I got through this period is only miraculous. It certainly contrasted with my former life of being an actuary, having money and staying in hotels and yet cliché and all as it sounds, I was happy!
I left Paris and have never lived there since. I did visit last year and it was indeed nostalgic. One day I will return there to live but for the moment I may reflect on these fond memories and thank God for the grace that He has given me to keep on smiling!!
Paris, I’ll be back!!
Thank you for reading!